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Mayura! Unfortunately, the world is still being as a hell. May your drawings become poetic


29th of April, 2015 -Nadarajah Kuruparan-

Mayura! Unfortunately, the world is still being as a hell. May your drawings become poetic



I am thinking of the pain of those who were sentenced to death while they were facing their death and the pain of you who are going to face death. Something twisted in my heart when I thinking of whether this pain will be understood or not.

No one being away from having this experience can understand how the moments when we feel ourselves that our death is reaching towards us are horrible. Seeing the pain of the death of others, we just can be able to express our sadness as tears. But, I do not think that there will be pain that is more compared to the pain that is felt while we ourselves are feeling our death that is about to be happened.  

My heart is broken by the arguments of those who appreciate the death sentence against you. More than half of the world population will be entitled to death sentence if those who make serious mistakes should be sentenced to death penalty.

While those who committed serious mistakes are roaming today as world leaders, influential figures and wealthier persons without being caught at the clutches of law, the innocents like you are only sentenced to death penalty.

Mayura! Seeing your sharp and stiff eyes, my heart is crying for the past few days. There is no doubt that what you had committed is anti-social crime. Without thinking of the consequences of doing such crimes, you were trapped by the decision taken by your immature brain. But, the drawings drawn, when you were spending your days in prison after realizing your mistakes are, crushing the conscience of the world.

Those who respect the humanity will not deny your right to live the rehabilitated life in the world as the one who realized his mistakes. Why did the horrific Indonesian government refuse to provide an opportunity to you and others, who are going to be executed the death penalty, to live the rehabilitated life?

While those who are involved in drags trafficking by stacking in many baggage and those who assist to convert the black money, earned through drags trafficking in immense amount, to white money are living joys of life, you innocents only were treated as scapegoats.  What sort of injustice is this?

What kind of justice that the Indonesian government is going to implement by shooting you, who wish to live the rehabilitated life, in front of your parents, relatives and the world?

 I was laid at the very close range of my death for two times. I cannot be able to express my fear while I was reaching the boundary of the death. Or, I got my life back to make attempt to tell such fear of mine at that time.  But you?

I know you and your pain.

In 1986, the commander of our national liberation movement Mathaya, who abducted me when I was 19 years, pointed his pistol on my forehead and asked me “what is your last will?”

I, who stood with inside dresses and my hands tied, did not have such strength to tell “I am going to draw drawings”, “I am going to see my parents” like what you said. Thinking in my inner heart that the mistake that I had committed was stand for fight for our liberation, I told him that I did not have any last wills other than handing over my body to my parents as they had decided to shoot me.

I am just trying to congruent those moments with your last moments. Mayura! External pressures and the change of the moods of those arrested me had stopped my death. But, it did not happen to you and those with you. 

Avoiding food for two days, my father was meditating, my mother told me. How my family was suffering at that time had become known to me later on by their words of mouth. But, seeing the screams of your family, my heart is feeling pain.

 In 2006, after 20 years, once again I had felt the pain of death. Military intelligence operatives had abducted me with the intention of killing me. None of those who had been abducted at that time did return home. Those who abducted me did not ask me about my last will. But, in an instance I myself told them about my last will.

The reason for that is, if I had been killed in 1986, my parents would have lost their son; my siblings would have lost their brother; my girlfriend (Now my wife), would have lost her lover. But, if I had been killed in 2006, two innocent children who even had not known the world would have lost their father. Therefore, I said, “I have not done anything wrong. If you kill me by assuming that I did anything wrong, then throw my dead body at the vicinity of my home instead of throwing into revers or addition to that, send them my letter after you read it.”

The military intelligence operatives who abducted me asked the reasons of my requests as my last will.

I told them, “If my family takes my body, they will do the funeral and then they will recover themselves from these sorrows within few years, thus they will seek their livelihoods.”

“If my body is not found, they will wait for me, thus they will lose their lives”, I added.

Though, those military intelligence operatives were familiar enough to kill, they kept quiet for some whiles.  On the following day morning, when they took me in a vehicle to release me, I thought that they were going to kill me. After get me down from the vehicle, they ordered me not to let loose the eye tied. At that moment also, I thought that they were going to shoot me. 

The time when I was released was around morning 4 o’clock. When I was pressing the calling bell of my home, my brother in low asked me “who is this?” I replied him “I am Kuru”. He could not believe my reply as all of them had lost their hopes on my return. My wife, children, relatives, friends and all others were there gloomily like a funeral. The pressure exerted by the international community, the protests staged by the Tamil-Sinhala media community and the changes in the moods of those who abducted me once again saved my life. 


You innocents could not be saved by anyone. I am linking the plights of you, your family, your friends and your relatives with the plights of my family, my friends and my relatives when I was abducted.  How cruel such a death; killing by keeping them wait and wait?

If I had met with you in a drawing exhibition with your drawings or if you had been provided an opportunity to tell in your words about how to live a rehabilitated live, how this world would have been?

Would this world not be a wonderful?

Unfortunately, this world is still being as a hell.

May your soul rest in peace!


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